Johnhwilburn.org

One day after getting out of quarantine, I went to visit some friends at a local shop. After asking about my time in America, and commenting on how fat I got, we got caught up on recent news.

For around a half-hour many of the more controversial issues in the US were discussed.

1. The Covid Delta Variant
2. Vaccinations
3. The need for quarantine before entering a country
4. And Afghanistan
   

I won’t go into detail about my views on each ¹. Instead I want to highlight the fact that people in foreign countries love to discuss current events in America. I’ve had MANY political discussions leading up the the recent presidential election in the streets of Barrouallie!

These conversations about what’s going in the United States shows me just how much what goes on in America affects other Countries….

And it also challenges me to do my cultural homework

In 2008 I was with a group of American missionaries in an Australian coffee shop. As we were talking an Aussie asked if we were American, then proceeded to tell us who to vote for, and why. That was one of my first experiences like that so it kind of surprised me. But as those conversations continued, I realised it was important to not only have a stance on controversial issues, but be able to defend them.

Sunday I finished the audible version of “Faultlines” by Voddie Baucham. I had read the kindle version of the book, but enjoyed the audible version better because it allowed me to listen to chapters more than once.

Throughout the book, you realise Baucham is someone who has done his homework. He understands Critical Race Theory ² better than almost anyone who holds to the view! In a spirit of love and humility, Baucham takes apart the arguments for CRT, and shows just how damaging this view is.

This calm and technical discussion of the problem is very different than the way we (myself included) usually deal with controversial issues. We share “hot takes” that are taken as fact without any proof, then anyone who disagrees with us is mis-represented.

This is not standing for the truth friends…..

This is laziness!

It’s easy to send a tweet or Facebook post about a controversial issue, it’s hard to clearly explain and defend your viewpoint sitting across the table from someone who disagrees.

Yes we should stand for the truth, and call out sin. But have a foundation of Scripture, and clear understanding instead of personal opinion.

1. Those who are interested in my views can contact me directly ↩
2. The cultural issue he challenges in the book ↩

Ephesians 4:26 “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:”

People in Barrouallie don’t see me angry a lot, because it takes a lot to make me angry. But they saw me angry Friday.

And thats okay….

Because it was something worth getting angry over.

Occasionally I bring some balls from America for children in the community to play with. It gives them something constructive to do, and helps build relationships.

Friday afternoon a little boy was happily playing with a ball when a teenager playing soccer nearby decided to take ball from him.

Seeing the little boy in tears because a teenager took his ball is something worth getting angry over

After we got the ball back, he went back to waiting for his soccer game. When he saw me approaching and calling his name, he immediately jumped up and ran a safe distance away.

There was not yelling or vulgar language

But I made very clear to him that taking a ball from a little boy didn’t make him a man. I went as far as to challenge him to take the ball out of my hand if he was man enough (he wasn’t).

Anger should not be a constant characteristic of our lives. But on ocassion, anger explained in calm terms and a controlled spirit is necessary to confront sin.

The reason this boy habitually took balls from little children is nobody did anything about it. A lady shouted at him to give the ball back, but never actually got up to make him do so. She then told me it was my fault because I shouldn’t have brought the balls anyways! Because nobody stood up and called it wrong, he just kept doing it.

The Lord reminded me Friday that I could have given the boy a break (he was a teenager after all!) but sometimes somebody needs to stand up and say “this is wrong.”

Since returning from the medical furlough, I’ve tried to make “self-care” a part of my daily ministry.

Self-care is basically what it sounds like, taking care of yourself! For me, it means making my own physical fitness a priority.

My self-care habits include things like

1. One or two (usually two) brief naps a day
2. Constantly wearing sunglasses to protect my eyes
3. Eating healthy meals
4. And setting aside time each day for relaxation
   

These and other habits are important because I’ve learned ministry cannot be done at 100% if I am not at 100%

The months leading up to my medical furlough was a painful reminder of this. The lack of proper eyesight affected my energy greatly since lots of my bodies strength went into helping me see. I had a desire to do the work, but lacked the energy to accomplish it.

It is possible to minister when you’re at about 75% or 80% physically, but it simply isn’t effective.

More than that….

Lack fo self-care damages ministry

I came back to the States beat up not only physically, but mentally, and emotionally because of my cataracts. Looking back, I can see this issue came because I didn’t take care of myself (my eyes particularly).

During my time home I re-committed myself not only to spiritual health, but personal health. Which means eating right, wearing my sunglasses, and making sure I get enough rest.

Because in order to help others, sometimes I need to take care of John first.

Last Saturday I returned from the States to Saint Vincent at the conclusion of my medical furlough. The trip itself was actually incredibly easy! The only time I waited was for thirty-minutes before my flight left Miami for SVG.

The easy trip also reminded me how hard it used to be to travel from home to SVG!

Today American Airlines does all of the flights. In past years however, no US airlines went into SVG. So instead American Airlines would bring me to another island, and from there I would catch an island airline for the trip to SVG.

Being at the other island didn’t bother me, but other issues at that airport made things frustrating.

1. They would not let you inside The air-conditioned airport till the afternoon, so you spend hours outside in the sun
2. You had to get all your luggage (both checked bags and carry ons) then keep them till the airline allowed you to re-check them
3. The airlines at this particular island had an incredibly strict policy about baggage weight. Not only did the checked bags have to be under 50 pounds (extra bags were not allowed) but our carry on couldn’t be more than 20 pounds!
   

The most frustrating thing about that airport though was the planes never being on time.

I can remember the first time flying with the island airline to SVG. My flight was boarding in about half an hour, and over the intercom they gave an announcement that another flight had been delayed. Passengers on that flight were told that they would get more information at 8:30

A lady on the delayed flight started getting very upset and shouting. The louder she got, the more passengers on it started agreeing with her. Around a half-hour later, they announced a flight for HER DESTINATION was now boarding!

About ten minutes after that an announcement came to say MY FLIGHT had been delayed, and more information would come at 8:30. I leaned over to a friend who was flying over with with me, and whispered, “they gave her our plane!”

Though I can laugh about that experience now, it was pretty frustrating in the moment. Yet the Lord used this experience especially to teach me patience.

One of the greatest blessings of life today is we live in an “instant society” where almost anything can be obtained in a few minutes. This is an incredible blessing, but at the same time it’s a curse. When we DO have to wait, it often feels like the end of the world.

A huge issue with the instant society is we expect God to work “instantly”, or on our schedule. And when He doesn’t we become bitter.

This is why the Lord often makes us wait…..

These waiting experiences teach us patience, and remind us that Gods the one truly in control. They also often reveal the sinful attitudes of our hearts that need to be dealt with.

And more than anything, they remind us that God doesn’t work according to our schedule.

In just over two weeks (August 28) I will return to Saint Vincent. I’m incredibly excited about this, and have entered my “anxious energy” stage, which will soon be followed by my “pacing back and forth like a tiger in a cage stage.”

This is a good thing because it shows Gods has given me a great burden to serve in SVG. And though America is my home, it’s no longer the place where I “feel at home.”

The desire to leave is growing steadily because my eye surgeries got finished much faster than expected. The surgeon did the first one nine days after seeing me, and the second seven days after that. Truthfully I could have left already!

But there are important reasons why the Lord gave me extra time in the States

1. So I could spend time with family
2. To work on College Classes
3. To reconnect with friends
   

And the most important reason is so I could come back stronger.

The Truth is, I didn’t just need a break because of the cataracts. I needed a time to unplug from day to day ministry in order to refocus on the Lord, and evaluate my personal life, as well as ministry. It’s possible to do this while on the field, but quite difficult because of the distractions.

The Lords reminded me recently breaks from ministry are a very important part of ministry……

Because you come back stronger.

1. Someone who has identified, and removed unhealthy habits
2. Someone who is focused in their ministry (doesn’t try to do everything)
3. Someone who embraces physical, as well as spiritual health
4. Someone who approaches ministry with a renewed energy
   

The funny thing is in my mind breaks from ministry are bad things because taking a step back for rededication and evaluation doesn’t involve lots of “activity.” However that short-time away amplifies the strength of future ministry.

The Lord through this experience has reminded me breaks from ministry need to become a greater part of my daily life. So with His help, I’ll find ways to take a step back while on the field.

Because it’s better to take a step back and refocus every once in a while, than to burn our completely

Yesterday morning I sat down at a kitchen table, and for the first time in over a month, had devotions from an actual Bible. For some this may not seem like a very big deal, but for me it was an incredible blessing.

Many of you know that in March, I began to have serious eyesight issues because of cataracts in both eyes (with my left being more severe). As time passed, my eyes continued to degenerate, till in mid-May reading my Bible was almost impossible.

Because of the greater medical technology in America I after prayer decided to take a medical furlough at the end of June instead of getting the surgery done in Saint Vincent. While this was definitely the right decision to make, it meant putting up with blurred eyesight for a long time.

Over time, the frustration of not being able to do things I was used to doing (like reading my Bible) grew and grew. I finally reached the breaking point, and allowed the quiet anger about my situation to become discouragement and depression……

That was three weeks before the flight!

Thankfully the Lord convicted me of my self-pity, and I submitted to a life with massive cataracts (though it was frustrating).

God through the Holy Spirit brought verses to mind that helped me submit to the frustrating situation. One that was particularly encouraging was Jeremiah 29:5

Jeremiah 29:5 Build ye houses, and dwell in them; and plant gardens, and eat the fruit of them;

Jeremiah here is speaking to Jews who were in Babylonian captivity. Many of them were frustrated by their lack of freedom, and would later try to escape Babylons control with the power of Egypt. Jeremiah though encourages them to do something different….

He tells them to submit in captivity

Instead of trying to escape the situation that they hated, they were encouraged to continue there long-term. As they flourished in a painful situation, the Lord promised to give peace.

The application is to stop fighting the plan of God. There is no way that we can escape it anyways! Instead of looking for a way out, the Lord calls us to humbly accept the trial that comes from His hand. Because we know the Lord who brought us in, will bring us out.

For me personally that verse meant accepting both the good times, and bad times from God. It’s amazing how we praise God on the mountaintop, but have a terrible attitude in the valley isn’t it? But as we commit ourselves to consistent service in the valley, God will do a great work.

I can honestly say living with severe cataracts wasn’t enjoyable, but I thank God for it. Because its in the valley that He drew me closer to Himself.

In about four days I will board a plane in Saint Vincent, and early Sunday morning, arrive in Richmond Virginia.

the interesting thing is though I am excited about being home, a big part of me doesn’t want to go.

Please understand that doesn’t mean I don’t love America. But SVG has been my home for so long, believe it or not, America feels strange!

Having said that, there is one thing I miss about America….convenience

In the States you can get just about anything that you need at a local store thats about fifteen minutes away. Whereas in Saint Vincent (and on most mission fields) you just can’t get many things.

For instance, in late February my iPhone battery died. In America thats an easy fix since you can get a new one tomorrow from Amazon, or go to any number of stores. In my case, a proper replacement battery was never found. I’m sure there were some individuals who had one, but no phone technician in Kingstown could find one.

Though this lack of convenience is frustrating at times, it’s actually a blessing. Because it shows just how many things we enjoy in life that are actually “luxuries”, or things we could live without.

When I first came here, there were certain things from America I truly missed

1. Pepsi and Coke (they are expensive here, so only an occasional treat)
2. and high quality American coffee (they do have Folgers and Maxwell House here, but I am admittedly a “coffee snob’
   

At first I really missed things like this since they were a habitual part of my life

And then something strange happened…..

I didn’t want them anymore!

Now I still like soft drinks, and good coffee. But my desire for them grew weaker. And over time I learned that I could actually live without them!

when most things in life are luxuries we learn to live without them, and we also greatly enjoy them when they are experienced

While going through the relief barrels that were sent from the States, I set aside two different things for some children who visit for Bible stories.

1. The first was a box of crayons and colouring books
2. The second was a box of “little Debbie snack cakes”
   

now to be honest these items would be appreciated by a child in the States, but it wouldn’t really bring a lot of excitement

for the Vincentian children who had never eaten something like that, it was a treasure!

In the end I’m thankful that the Lord has helped me leave behind some conveniences of home. Because now they can be appreciated more.

As I prepare for a medical furlough I’m planning to greatly enjoy the luxuries that America provides. But at the same time, those luxuries will lead to thankfulness and praise to the God who provides them.

Last week this time I was getting ready to visit a local clinic, and get my second vaccine shot.

I don’t share that to start a big debate over whether or not a person should be vaccinated. It’s my opinion you should be for your safety and others, but the point of this post is what happened AFTER the shot.

I fully expected to feel awful the day of the shot, so didn’t plan much afterwards. I ended up getting home around 2:00, and spent most of the day in bed after that.

Following that day of rest I woke up Wednesday sore, but with good energy, It felt great to have strength during the day that helped me catch up on what wasn’t finished Tuesday.

Then Thursday came

I woke up not feeling too great, but was able to get stuff done that morning. But around 2:00 though my whole body started hurting! So I ended up spending much of that day in the bed or resting as well.

Thursday really frustrated me because I wanted to do work, but my body just wouldn’t co-operate. Yet looking back on it, I believe it was Gods way of teaching me a lesson.

I love being busy, which is not a bad thing. However, it’s easy to begin worshipping my work, In other words, i find my identity (happiness) in how much is accomplished during that day. When productivity becomes something that I worship instead of God. It is a problem.

So the Lord gave me two days last week with little work accomplished.

As the frustration faded Thursday afternoon, the Lord reminded me that effectiveness or “getting things done” wasn’t something to be worshipped. Instead it was a form of worship to God.

This makes all the difference because my identity and happiness doesn’t have to be found in how much I accomplished that day. Instead it’s found in the cross of Christ, and Gods placing His righteousness to my account.

This doesn’t mean I should sit around and do nothing all day. It does mean that God in His grace gives me days of rest. And those restful moments come because the work of Salvation doesn’t rely on me.

Thankfully my body is back at full-strength and I’m slowly but surely catching up on unfinished tasks. But I’m grateful that even if the to-do list is never finished, I will still be Gods child.

Things have been incredibly stressful for individuals here since the volcanic eruptions began.

Anxiety is heightened for those who live in communities like mine who are already struggling with poverty before the eruptions began. However, the greatest anxiety is for those who are displaced from “red zone” areas.

One of the sister-churches of Tabernacle Baptist is in the area of Fits-Hughes, which is very close to Chateaubelair, where the volcanic eruptions did serious damage with ashes.

At this time it isn’t possible to travel there by vehicle, and the area itself is viewed as “unliveable” because of the amount of ashes on the ground. It will probably take six to seven months before individuals can move back in comfortably.

A Believer from the church in Fits-Hughes came by a few Sundays ago to make sure we were having services. He told me that he’d be back yesterday. Sure enough, he showed up before church, so we were able to have some fellowship together.

I was struck by the calmness and peace in this mans heart, which was remarkable considering he had to leave not only his home. but his livelihood since he was a farmer.

Again and again in our conversation he thanked the Lord for His goodness, and expressed a desire to serve Him in good and bad situations. We were also blessed by a short testimony of Gods goodness during a praise time during the service.

More than anything, this mans life and attitude was marked by a peace. A peace n a very stressful situation that can only come from God.

As I thought about his testimony yesterday, my mind was reminded a Christians life should be marked by peace

There will of course be experiences of emotion or anxiety, but for the most part, the Holy Spirit gives to us a calmness in a crisis. This peace is an incredible blessing since it loudly proclaims the Gospel through a transformed life.

This peace is also in contrast to the world, that is filled with anger and frustration.

last Wednesday afternoon I took some short-term missionaries from Campden Park down to my side of the island. Driving past the church, we saw two women standing near each other in the road loudly shouting and cursing. In a small way, this illustrates the sinful response to pressure or stress.

Life is frustrating and heaps great amounts of anxiety upon our hearts. This is why we must turn to the Lord with our burdens. When we give everything back to God with an open hand, He fill our hearts with a peace.

A peace that shines brightly in the world of anger and bitterness.

As April comes to a close, I am incredibly thankful for the opportunities that the Lord has given to minister in a practical way to the people of Barrouallie and surrounding villages since the eruption on April 9.

There is still a definite need for immediate help through relief packages, and bottled water ¹. But slowly but surely, it is time to transition into a deeper ministry.

by this I don’t mean providing food isn’t important (it obviously is). But there Is a deeper need than just physical relief.

that is a need for discipleship.

By using the phrase “discipleship” I am referring to evangelism (bringing them to Christ), teaching of Scripture, and sending them out to do the work themselves. I referenced this idea in a post last week you can find here.

Its incredibly important to understand that a persons greatest need is for discipleship. Someone who will listen to their needs, explain the Gospel, and lead them to Salvation.

But its even more important to understand people crave this kind of relationship in their hearts.

The Lord has opened the door for me to have lots of conversations about the Gospel, and what the Bible teaches during this time of crisis.

Along the way I’ve realised what people want far more than a bag of food, or a case of water

A listening ear…..

Attentive eyes….

And Gods truth

Again this doesn’t mean the food isn’t important. It means long after that food is gone, a true friend who will give Godly counsel is far more important.

So we keep giving out relief to those in need. But understand taking the time to sit down, understand their need, and minister to it with an open Bible is more important in the long run.

1. You can’t currently drink the water ↩

Sunday morning we had our first service at Church since the eruptions of La Soufrière began. Since a lot had happened since our last meeting, I gave an opportunity to share some testimonies.

one lady referenced an experience the day after the initial eruption on April 9 when the ashes caused everything to grow dark as night at 5:00 in the afternoon. She said that the Lord in that moment reminded her of sin ¹, and she prayed in tears with her son.

I am incredibly thankful that God used experience like this to get the attention of this woman and her son, along with others.

Yet as the ashes are cleaned up, and things start getting back to normal, it seems as if many individuals are already beginning to forget God again.

This isn’t surprising since Satan does not want us to focus on God at all. So as quickly as possible, he brings crisis situations that “distract us from the Lord.”

In a deeper sense, God is forgotten because we aren’t experiencing the big “God moments.”

a “God moment” is something huge like the ashes blocking out sunlight that bring fear or anxiety into our lives. These moments are good because they lead to repentance. The problem is, God does not choose to speak to us regularly through moments like this.

The Lord chooses instead to speak to us as we read and study His Word on a daily basis.

Scripture teaches that as we meditate on the Bible, the Holy Spirit will reveal Gods truth to us. The important thing is that we must constantly be looking back at the Lord.

The world is filled with distractions that take our mind off God, so we must continue gazing at His truth throughout the day.

In situations like the volcano eruptions, many people come back to Church, and recommit themselves to God. This is wonderful of course! But it is often motivated by a “God moment” or their emotions. Sadly they soon lose sight of God, and fall away again.

The only way to end this cycle is to see God daily…..

This begins by proclaiming Gods truth to others through devotionals, bible studies, or a biblical reasoning ministry that answers questions. But the goal is for individuals to have a PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP with God where they look EVERY DAY into His word.

My heart breaks to see friends slowly lose sight of Gods power and love for them. But in the end I can only point them towards their true need.

They and they alone get to choose the closeness of their relationship with God.

1. She wasn’t coming to church,. Or reading her bible ↩

La Soufrière’s eruptions have definitely brought a time of crisis to SVG. Yet, even in that crisis, there are things to praise God for.

Today I am especially thankful for Gods daily mercies

A daily mercy is Gods blessing upon our lives that we don’t really recognise. Often it’s something that has been there for so long, that blessing is taken for granted.

There are countless daily blessing the Lord provides, but the eruptions have focused my mind on one in particular…..

Running water

Because the water supplies in Saint Vincent come from natural rivers, individuals were encouraged to fill up barrels or bottles before the eruptions took place. This is because the sulphuric ash would contaminate the water system.

The general idea was we would be without water for one or two days. Instead because of the magnitude of the eruptions, we were without water for a week!

There were occasions when the water would come on for a brief time in the morning or evening. Also one day the water was on from the morning till late afternoon. For the most part however, the water was not running.

as you can imagine, the lack of water caused many problems. Especially because this made cleaning the house, and washing clothes difficult. There was a greater need for these jobs of course since the ashes got on your clothes, and in your house.

The lack of water also caused me to realise just how much I used it! Its funny how I didn’t think about how many things use water till it was no longer there.

Friday morning, at around the same time the original eruption occurred, the water was turned back on. I cannot describe to you the joy that filled my heart to see water coming out of the tap again!

This experience has reminded me that many of the things that we take for granted such as water, electricity, or vehicles that run properly are forms of God’s mercy and grace upon our lives.

It’s sometimes difficult to be thankful for those items since they are so readily available. So God in His sovereignty removes them temporarily so we appreciate them more.

I definitely didn’t enjoy being without running water for a week ¹. But I am thankful for the experience, because it reminded me of Gods daily mercy upon my life.

1. Thankfully I had a large water barrel filled so did have water. It had to be used carefully though ↩

The eruptions of La Soufrière have brought a great crisis upon the people of Saint Vincent and the Grenadines. Particularly for those in the “red zone” where the ash and damage of buildings makes it unlivable.

At the same time, Soufrière’s eruptions have brought blessings upon our lives! One of the greatest is seeing God provide for our needs in absolutely amazing ways.

Since the original eruption on April 9, I have received a gift of $1,000, along with another $1,000 coming, and yesterday got a check for $500 ¹. This doesn’t count the gifts that are sent directly to Baptist Mid-Missions without my knowledge.

These and other funds will provide short-term help:

1. Through relief packages
2. Bottled water
3. Replenishing of the food bank at a Church in Kingstown park
4. And establishing smaller food banks in other Churches for those not in the Kingstown area
   

This is reason enough to praise God, but the Lord has also provided for what I would refer to as long-term help.

the road to recovery is going to be very long for those in the “red zone” areas. It will take many months before things will return to a form of normalcy. Because of this. There’s also a need for larger amounts of food and goods that can be set aside for future use.

The provision of long-term help is far more difficult because it costs more money, and there needs to be a large amount of goods.

it’s amazing to see how the Lord has not only met our need for short-term relief, but also the need for relief in the long term.

I could list many long-term blessings. But let me just share one.

A friend from my home Church in the States called a few Saturdays ago to ask about the possibility of sending some barrels. I was incredibly grateful, and gave him the information for a shipping agency that could help.

In my mind, I could see them sending two or three barrels……

He called back Saturday to say they are planning to send TEN!

These and other experiences are wonderful reminders that the Lord is indeed still at work.

He may not provide the way I want Him too…..

But He will provide

And His way is always best

1. All of these funds are sent through Baptist Mid Missions, and are put into Vincentian Pastors hands to fund a food bank in SVG. ↩

Since the first eruption of La Soufrière, my schedule has been thrown off. normal ministries centred on evangelism or discipleship. Ministries after the eruption involved cleaning, distributing relief, and transporting needed items.

While we are very far from recovered from the volcanic eruptions ¹, things have thankfully calmed down in Barrouallie to the extent that life is beginning to return to normal.

While I’m very thankful for “boots on the ground” ministry that involved practical things like delivering goods, and clearing yards. I’m excited for the opportunity to return to my Scripture based ministry of Evangelism and Discipleship (or reach and teach).

This may seem strange since the very practical ministries during the crisis following the initial eruptions had a deep impact upon the lives of individuals.

But the “reaching and teaching” is more important because individuals are dealing with their eternal destiny.

experiencing a natural disaster like the eruptions of La Soufrière is an important reminder of our weakness when compared to God. It also makes individuals think about their eternal destiny following death.

In these moments God has individuals attention. And while it’s incredibly important to make sure their physical needs are met, it’s more important to clearly explain the Gospel.

1. Because things cannot bring happiness
2. Because sin always destroys our lives
3. Because their true need is to be saved for eternity
4. And because Salvation brings the hope the world never can
   

This is important to remember because I’m spending lots of time these days doing relief work, which does glorify God.

But I am not called to meet the physical needs of others…..

I’m called to lead them to Christ, and train them to reach others.

Obviously this doesn’t mean I don’t overlook financial needs. But filling their belly with food is not as important as placing their faith in Christ

So I happily feed the needy…..

But make sure my goal is a transformed heart instead of a full belly.

1. We actually still have them, experienced the thirty-first this morning ↩

A blessing of the volcano eruptions is it has highlighted the need for financial help in many areas of Saint Vincent and the Grenadines. Poverty is a huge issue in many of our communities even without a natural disaster, so now more are needy than ever before.

The generosity of friends and local Churches has allowed me to begin meeting the needs of those in the community. Twenty bags of food were distributed over the weekend, and I’ll distribute another fifteen this afternoon. Along with this, I’m in the process of distributing thirty cases of bottled water.

The Lord has also provided funds from the US that will fund a food bank in Kingstown, and barrels that will arrive from the States in coming months.

While I am encouraged by the opportunity to give, its discouraging because the need is so great.

For every family that receives a bag of food relief, there are three or four families who need it!

The sad truth is you cannot help everyone. So while doing your best to meet everyones needs, it’s necessary to emphasise help on a small group of people.

As a missionary my primary responsibility is to those who attend Tabernacle Baptist Church. So relief is given first to members of the Church, as well as those who attend faithfully.

That’s actually the easy decision

The hard choice is what to do with the relief thats left over…

I’ve thought and prayed over that question a lot. For me personally the answer is those who are in the greatest need.

These are individuals who I would define as being in the “greatest need”

1. Shut in’s: Older saints who cannot leave the house, and are often forgotten
2. Families with lots of children (three or four)
3. Single mothers
4. And those men who are looking for work, but cannot find any
   

This doesn’t mean of course that you don’t help others when they ask for it. While delivering water yesterday two families who weren’t on my list asked for some, and I gave it to them with a smile. But there must be an emphasis of help with individual families.

There are four families who live near a church member. Over time, I’ve developed a relationship with them, and the Lord has really placed a burden upon my heart for these families at this time.

This burden led me to help them in practical ways….

1. Like filling bottles with water, and delivering it to them when they didn’t have any
2. Giving out bags of food
3. And checking in to see how things are going every day
   

There is also a woman who is in GREAT financial need in the community who the Lord placed upon my heart. I’ve been able to provide bread, groceries, food, and even ripe bananas to her.

There’s another single mother near me who has very little, and is struggling to make ends meet. The Lord let me help her with money for her stove-gas when it went out Friday, and groceries Monday.

I do realise there are a huge number in need. And if I could, I would minister to every one of them individually. But because that isn’t possible, I minister to those the Lord places upon my heart

Sunday evening the volcano erupted for what I believe is the thirtieth time since the eruptions began. It’s kind of hard to tell since they are smaller now, and often come in the early morning.

By the looks of it, I could tell that this eruption was a big one. Possibly one of the biggest yet. It was a bit discouraging since things were beginning to get back to normal.

About fifteen minutes after the eruption a huge cloud of ashes began descending on the community. It made for a very strange and eerie sight.

About a half-hour later it was very dark, which is usual here for 6:30. Part of me worried that there would be a lot of cleanup to accomplish the next morning.

Instead this is what I found

To be fair, this picture was taken at 11:30 yesterday morning after a work crew had come by to scrape the road clean.

Thankfully the wind was strong Sunday, and the huge cloud of ashes instead of falling on us was carried out to sea. Its my understanding that a lot of it fell on Barbados.

Though there is still a long road of recovery ahead of us at SVG, Sunday was an important reminder that things could be worse.

When we think about the protection of God, many of us think about the Lord protecting us from the tough experiences of life. This is definitely a way that He protects us, but not the only way.

One of the most common ways God protects us in a trial is not by removing the trial itself, but giving us grace within that trial.

This protection is harder to see because Satan wants us to focus on the pain or hardship instead of God goodness. However, Scripture is clear that Gods with us in the storm. We just have to look harder than usual sometimes.

I honestly wish the protection of God would always be clear as the wind blowing a cloud of ashes out to sea.

But the daily protection of God usually comes in more subtle ways……..

So we have to look closer, and trust His goodness even when the cannot see His presence.

And if we look hard enough….we will see the Lord blowing the ashes away.

The last few days I’ve been going to bed early, and sleeping in late. That has something to do with feeling as if I’ve been run over by a truck!

Sunday cleanup began following the volcano’s eruption Friday morning. Since then a huge part of my time has been spent shovelling ashes either from the church, or my own yard.

Sunday was actually the hardest day since there was a very heavy ash fall from Saturday, and it then rained that morning. The consistency of the ash became like mud which was not only hard to shovel, but incredibly slippery.

The physical work is at the same time exciting and exhausting. Exciting because most of my work is usually either mental, or social (interacting with others). The exhausting part is self-explanatory 🙂

Much of my ministry now revolves around clearing and cleaning instead of visitation or teaching since people stay home, and going to their houses makes cleaning harder for them. So I keep in touch through text messages, and phone calls.

To be honest, cleaning and shovelling ash isn’t what comes to mind when I think of “ministry.” Yet I’ve learned that doing hard or frustrating jobs well is a great testimony for Christ.

Cleaning ash takes time, and is very frustrating:

1. It tends to kick up dust
2. You end up covered in ashes
3. And often you need to do it again a few hours later!
   

At the same time, doing these frustrating jobs well is a ministry because people see your hard work.

Tuesday morning I had lots of hard work to accomplish since the church roof was swept of Monday afternoon. This left lots of wet and heavy ashes on the ground that had to be scraped up with a shovel, put into a bucket, and transferred to the church yard.

While I was doing this, a man came by and offered to sweep the front yard of the church for a small fee. I promised to pay him, and went back to my work, only for him to declare ten minutes later that he was “finished.” As you can imagine, he didn’t do a good job at all, but because I promised money he got paid something for it.

Yesterday morning I did the front yard spending over an hour on what he did in ten minutes. Honestly it will have to be done again this morning, but that doesn’t matter because people noticed my work

Of course I don’t always work hard, like everyone else I have my lazy moments. The point is that ministry involves having a “work ethic.” And part of that is doing the hard or difficult work the right way.

1. Taking your time
2. Going above and beyond ¹
3. And having a positive attitude
   

I’m still feeling the affects of this weeks work (lots of Advil) but those short-term aches and pains are worth a testimony of hard work done the right way.

1. I swept the church neighbours yard to keep the ash out of ours ↩

I’ve had lots of interesting experiences since the La Soufrière volcano erupted on Friday. But the most exciting, and memorable for me came Saturday evening.

I was sitting at home working on my computer when things started to become dark. Not just dark, but incredibly dark! I eventually went outside and video-called my parents so that they could see just how dark (and cold) it had become outside. About fifteen minutes later, the darkness had passed.

in talking with friends, this passing darkness was either an eruption, or a large cloud of ashes that literally blocked out the sun. Its my understanding Barbados had a similar experience shortly afterwards.

I wasn’t really frightened standing out on my porch, but it was definitely an eerie experience to see such darkness in the afternoon.

in that moment I felt small and insignificant

Which is believe is the point

The Lord sometimes brings what I call “God moments” into our lives. These are moments that remind us of His immense power, and our weakness. These moments are necessary in life because we can very easily become arrogant and self-reliant instead of depending upon Him.

I recently finished reading Job in my devotions, and was again struck by his pride and arrogance towards God. Because the Lord was not doing things the way he wanted things to be done, Job questioned his love and justice. Repeatedly in the book he challenged God to show up and “defend Himself.” Promising that the Lord would have to admit Job’s way was right.

When God finally showed up, Jobs attitude completely changed….

The Lord asked rapid-fire questions beginning with Job 38 about His creation and animals. These questions left no doubt about Gods power, and more importantly, Job’s weakness.

By Job 40:3-5 he is sufficiently humbled, but God continues His questioning till the beginning of chapter 42.

Job’s response after God’s done speaking is absolutely marvellous

Job 42:5-6. 5 I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear: but now mine eye seeth thee. 6 Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.

Why does Job repent in dust and ashes?

Because he sees God!

Now a God moment is obviously not the same as the Lord directly questioning us. But just like Job understands his smallness or weakness compared to God, these moments help us see how weak we are.

Things like the sun being hidden by ashes makes you remember how majestic God is, and how much you need His grace daily.

Saturdays experience led me to begin seeking out other “God moments” in my life. They may not be as significant as darkness, but these are the Lords way of taking our eyes off circumstances, and putting our attention on Him where it belongs.

May the Lord help us daily seek reminders of His greatness. And understand the free parking spot in town, or the deluge of ashes should both bring a heartfelt worship.

As I write this on April 13, conditions outside are like the Sahara desert. Any car driving by creates huge clouds, and we’ve had more than a few “dust storms.”

Only this isn’t dust….it’s volcanic ash

Since January, the La Soufrière volcano has been showing signs of increased activity. This led the government to encourage individuals on both extreme ends of the island to prepare for evacuation.

Things calmed down in February and people began to relax. But in recent weeks there was talked to increased danger at the volcano. Again individuals in danger zones were encouraged to prepare themselves.

Last Thursday morning the threat level of the volcano itself was raised, and those in dangerous areas were encouraged to prepare for evacuation. This was followed by an order to evacuate on Thursday afternoon around 4:00.

I had talked to Vincentian friends leading up this this evacuation about how to prepare (my area didn’t need to evacuate). Most told me just to have some food and water set aside, and in a few days things would be okay. This belief was based on the last eruption of the volcano in 1979 that brought a small amount of ashes.

when the first eruption hit around 9:00 Friday morning many people (myself included) stopped to take photos of the large mushroom cloud. Saturday morning I opened the door to see everything covered by ash, which looked surprisingly like snowfall.

I spent much of Sunday cleaning the church and my yard of ashes. And then yesterday morning things were somewhat back to normal with people out in the road doing their business.

Then came the two eruptions this morning

Thankfully we are safe with water that was turned on this morning, and electricity. However, in talking with many Vincentians, I have heard the same phrase.

“This is much worse than 1979”

And if you listen closely enough, you’ll hear another statement

We weren’t ready

many people expecting things to be just like they were in 79, did not take the threat seriously enough. Honestly I wasn’t prepared for the amount of ash experienced, and how many days we were going to be without water. Friday I spent much of the day using water for cleaning and other purposes, expecting it to come back on Sunday instead of Tuesday.

The Lord reminded me through this how many times we as individuals don’t take the warnings of God seriously. The Lord warns us about our sinful actions, but we put off repentance, believing the Lord will continue to care for us. Thankfully He often does show mercy, but in Love, the Lord sometimes shows us we should have listened to the warning.

I’m thankful for this experience because it brings some excitement to my life. But more importantly, its an important reminder to listen to Gods patient warnings.