“A spouse, and a minivan full of kids on the way to disney world is a sweet gift and a terrible God. If everything in Christian community revolves around being married with children, we should not be surprised when singleness sounds like a death sentence” Kevin Deyoung
Last Sunday while preaching through 1 Timothy, I spoke on singleness and marriage. To be honest this is a strange subject for me to speak on since I do believe its God’s will for singles to get married, while at the same time I’m single at the age of forty-six!
Leading up to last Sunday I thought a lot about the balance between pursuing marriage (because it’s God’s Will) and serving the Lord as a single. In the end, the Lord reminded me of the quote shared at the top of this post by Kevin DeYoung in “What Does the Bible Really Teach About Homosexuality.”
From the time I read that quote in the summer of 2015, it truly spoke to me. Especially the first sentence because it shares how marriage is a sweet gift (something to be pursued) but a terrible God (something we must have at any cost).
Practically for me this means on the one hand saving myself in every way possible for my future wife (I haven’t met her yet, but pretty sure she’s Vincentian :-)). While on the other hand using my singleness for the Glory of God in the meantime.
That’s actually harder to do than it sounds!
Most people go to one of two extremes:
- Give up on getting married, and just focus on having fun with their singleness
- Or spend their entire lives waiting for marriage so God could use them
Interestingly both make the same mistake…..
They waste their singleness
One wastes singleness by falling into sin, while the other refuses to do anything for the Lord (since they aren’t married yet). But both do a very poor job of using the gift of singleness.
And singleness is a gift!
- It gives extra time and energy that can be used for the Lord
- Quiet and privacy allows you to get more done in a shorter amount of time
- And Your able to take become part of more adventures (easier for a single man to go on a trip than a family)
Is marriage a gift as well? Of course it is! The important thing is using the gift God has given to the best of your ability.
I told the people last Sunday if I had my way I’d be driving a large family around in a mini-van, but that is not God’s plan for me right now. So until he leads me to my Vincentian wife (and if He doesn’t that’s fine by me) I’m obligated to use the gift of singleness to the best of my ability.