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Last week I walked up the hill to visit and read Scripture with an older saint. Along the way a man and woman were standing in front of a rum shop shouting at one another.

It started as an argument over the $10 he owed her and didn’t have, but things got more and more heated. Eventually the womans boyfriend came to defend her, and there would have been a physical altercation if she hadn’t pulled him away.

Sadly this isn’t an abnormal thing in Saint Vincent.

Within the Caribbean culture confrontation is often done publicly in the street instead of privately. This is partly because people like to stand and watch the argument (it is a form of entertainment) but it also gives the people arguing attention. Biblical confrontation that demands coming one on one privately isn’t an option.

The thing about shouting in the road is it brings lots of attention….

but it doesn’t fix anything!!!

These kinds of arguments can last for hours as other people become involved. But in the end the problem is just bigger because now everyone knows about it.

Drama (conflict) is bound to come into life no matter how hard we try to escape it. So it’s important to have a Biblical response which can put out the fire of conflict instead of making it bigger.

For me, this response has two steps

1. Understand the problem
2. And fix the problem

Understand the Problem: This means you understand exactly what the person is angry about. This sounds easy, but actually it’s quite difficult since they are rarely angry about the situation your being confronted over. That experience just pushed them over the edge….what you must understand is what stressed them out in the first place.

Fix the Problem: Then do whatever you can to fix the problem that brings their anger. Discussing the problem and coming up with a solution is one of the easiest ways to diffuse a stressful situation.

I can remember when we were rebuilding the wall between ourselves and another property three years ago. As the wall was being torn down we had to uproot a small plant from the neighbors yard. I left to get something from a friends house, and returned to find the neighbor standing in the road screaming.

I immediately pulled her aside, and asked what the problem was. She told me it was the plant being uprooted, but that wasn’t really it. The truth is she was upset that nobody asked her if it was okay to pull up the plant before removing it.

I told her I understood, and would pay for a new plant myself, even planting it in her yard with my own hands. A few weeks later when I asked her what plant she wanted, the woman told me it wasn’t needed.

Calmly understanding and fixing the problem isn’t as fun and exciting as shouting in the road, but I can guarantee you it does less damage.